


Mishaps? I know plenty of them

by Pinetasticapple



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Attempt at Humor, How Do I Tag, Humor, I Don't Even Know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:25:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3286874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinetasticapple/pseuds/Pinetasticapple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ike has had his fair share of strange people to hang out with.<br/>Snake? Snake takes the cake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mishaps? I know plenty of them

**Author's Note:**

> You could read this as Snake/Ike if you squint hard enough, I honestly don't see a problem with it.  
> But I did not have that as main intention when I wrote this heh.  
> Also slight OOC Snake I guess? I always pictured him as that kind of guy (plus Zombieland)  
> And unbeta'd because I don't have one.

The morning was just like any other, the group of smashers divided in the dining room. There were those who felt the pillow stuck to their face, those already awake.

And then, well, there were those who made the others wonder if they had slept at all.

“Kiddo!”

Ike groaned, his face almost slamming against the table. It was way too early to deal with Snake’s humour. He hadn’t even heard the soldier approaching him. When did he sit right next to him?

“I’m not a kid” he groaned, staring at the older man with all the possible annoyance he could muster, but Snake only laughed and slapped his shoulder, almost sending Ike’s face right into the cereal bowl in front of him.

“Don’t do that!”

“My bad” Snake stood up “but come on, I need your help”

“With what?” Ike regretted asking, knowing now that he wouldn’t be able to escape whatever antic Snake had planned. It wasn’t that Ike hated the man, it was more of a strange trying to figure out what was he up to kind of situation.

Then again, it wasn’t as if he had much to lose with tagging along.

“That’s the spirit! Come, I’ll show you” he pulled Ike by the elbow, the mercenary kicking the table in the process and causing several cups to fall and spill on some of the other smashers.

“Ike!” Marth yelled, retrieving his chair far from the puddle of water in front of him “were you raised in a barn? For crying out loud!”

Link passed him a napkin while trying to clean up the stain that was on his tunic, grumbling something about just clean laundry. Zelda just rolled her eyes, casting a spell that dried the few droplets of water that had fallen on her dress, while Peach was drying it off with her handkerchief.

Ike tried to point to Snake, looking for an explanation but the man in question was nowhere to be found. He truly wished for Master Hand to come slap him far away from the place. His ears were already flushed and whatever he said would probably make things worse.

“I’m sorry I uh,” he tried to explain himself either way but Marth’s nearly murderous glare made him turn around and scramble as fast as he could away from the place.

He was reaching the lobby when a hand covered his mouth, almost throwing him off balance; he didn’t have to guess who that was to turn and yell at the guilty.

“Are you crazy?! You just left me there! What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing” Snake just shrugged “let’s face it, why crying over spilled milk?”

“What? No one was crying”

“Exactly”

Ike blinked, being now more confused than upset.

“Anyway, come, we’re behind schedule”

“Schedule for what” Ike sighed in defeat, following Snake towards the main door.

“You’ll see”

~

They were at a park. Ike had imagined many possible scenarios for Snake to drag him into. After all, he still remembered that time when he had to remain awake since 4 am in a queue just for a pastry –it tasted better than promised so he didn’t comment against it-

He was still surprised to find that the place was a regular, mundane and normal park.

Except of course for the fact that they were currently sitting on top of a tree.

“Care to explain what we are doing here?” he asked after spending around 10 minutes just sitting on a branch.

“Waiting” Snake replied, eyes focused in front of him.

The mercenary sighed, knowing Snake wouldn't say more and leaned against the tree trunk.

The day looked quite good, with a clear blue sky and not a single cloud to cover the sun. The rays were filtering through the highest branches, causing a picturesque view.

It was so nice and soothing Ike hadn’t realised he was dozing off, until Snake shook him up.

“Ah! Wha, what?” Ike looked around startled, remembering where he was.

“Our target has arrived” Snake muttered, offering the mercenary a pair of binoculars “and our mission is to analyse the target’s reaction towards the subtract of fuel”

Ike grabbed the binoculars and tried to find what Snake was talking about, when he spotted a blue figure close to a stand. A now familiar figure.

“Isn’t that…”

“The blue menace, yes, we are going to take away his source of energy”

“That’s a hot dog stand”

“Exactly”

Ike wanted to throw Snake off the tree.

“Come on kiddo” the soldier climbed higher, throwing some leaves and twigs over Ike’s head “time’s ticking”

Ike rolled his eyes but followed the –totally crazy- soldier.

“And how exactly are we going to do that? You do remember he’s really fast?”

Snake didn’t reply again, taking what seemed to be one of his missile launchers only that instead of a real missile, a plunger was in it.

Ike started to question whether this was going to be a terrible idea.

~

The sun was setting by the time Ike returned to the Smash mansion, his clothes and hair covered in ketchup, mustard and what he thought was pickle sauce.

His entire afternoon was lost in trying to hide from Sonic, trying to explain to a quite upset hot dog vendor what had happened to his stall just to end up buying over six hundred and fifty five hot dogs that he had to count, and then making sure they were intact by the time they reached back.

On the bright side it seemed like there was going to be a sausage fest that night –Ike didn’t understand the joke on that one and Snake refused to explain it further-

“Oh hey Ike! I was wondering where you…” he heard Pit calling him from the stairs, the angel stopping on his tracks to look at him “did you go to a food battle? Did you? Why did you go to a food battle without inviting me?”

“Snake” was all Ike replied, an onion ring falling from his head.

“Oh! I can see that” Pit grinned “fun day?”

“We didn’t get arrested if that’s a bonus” the mercenary shrugged, bits of tomato falling from his shoulders. Just how much food did he have on?

“Remember when we almost did with that shopping cart?”

Ike smiled at that. It had been weeks ago, and somehow he had ended up pushing a shopping cart downhill with Snake and Pit inside of it. And a surprisingly high amount of Twinkie boxes between them.

“Or the time we covered an entire hallway with plastic cups?”

“Of course I do” Ike replied “I was the one ordered to go buy them!”

“We should do something like that again” Pit laughed “well, have to go, Roy must be waiting for me”

Ike waved him off with a smile, him already wishing to get rid of the ketchup smell.

~

Three days after the hot dog incident were the regular brawls, consisting of one minute fights with random members from the Smashers. Many were looking at the screen of roosters expectantly, already making bets between them in who would win and who would face who. Ike just wanted to get over with it fast, he still wasn’t prone to fight with an audience pending on his moves.

“Next fight! Ike vs King DeDeDe”

Ike leaned away from the wall, gathering his sword as the rooster signalled a stage when Snake stepped right next to him.

“Uh, I have to get going”

“I know” Snake said, looking at the screen “watch out for the mallet, it’s outfitted with different gadgets, but he leaves himself wide open when trying to swing, that’s your cue to attack”

Ike blinked surprised “I, thanks, I’ll make sure to keep an eye on it”

Snake gave him a curt nod and walked away just as the stage ‘Green Hill Zone’ showed up.

It hadn’t been the first time Snake gave him advice when he was about to fight, even if they were simple ones like ‘watch your left side it seems to be a blind spot’, and Pit had mentioned once how the soldier had suggested about keeping a distance when fighting Ike.

It somehow made Ike feel better, and a small swell of pride filling inside him whenever he won those battles. Although that was a thing he wouldn’t tell Snake directly, he wouldn’t see the end of it if he did.

The battle went alright, none of them had fallen off the stage and Ike hadn’t taken much damage which, in his opinion, had to be a good aspect to look onto.

The day seemed nice enough for a walk outside, albeit hotter than the previous ones, so he hurried to leave his gear back at his room and walk to the gardens. It also seemed like he wasn’t the only one with the idea, looking at many of the Pokémon running around and playing with Red.

“Hey Ike! Over here!”

The mercenary turned around, surprised to find Link calling him out; it was actually a first time for him to hear Link, one of the Smash legends, calling out to him. The Hylian was lying below one of the big trees that provided them shade enough to just rest.

“Hi uh, hi” he approached where not only Link, but Marth and Roy were also sitting on the grass, with Pit hanging upside down on one of the branches.

“Hey man, good fight today” Roy grinned at him.

“It wasn’t so bad, you have potential” Marth added, fiddling with one of his gloves.

“Uhm, thanks?”

“Don’t mind him” Link smiled at him “you did good, also is surprising to see you around here”

“Oh well, the weather seemed nice enough and-“

“Since you’re usually sidekick of crazy mischiefs” Marth interrupted, raising an eyebrow at him “or is this a setup of that crazy man?”

Ike almost flinched “He is not crazy, he’s just eccentric”

“Oh now you defend him?” Marth said “I thought you were fed up with them judging by your expressions”

“Well…” Ike shrugged “I mean, sure he drives me nuts and I don’t get half of his reasoning most of the time but…”

“What”

Ike sighed, pointing at the group of swordsmen “I mean look at you guys, you knew each other already before coming here” he said “the Pokémon? They also know each other, most of the newcomers already knew some of you guys, and you all had these… bonds”

Ike suddenly understood more of Snake’s doings and sudden outbursts, the surprising words of advice, the way he moved around and seemed to know about everyone, and how he looked after Ike and Pit more than the others.

Link turned to see Marth’s face, who remained surprised to Ike’s answer, prompting the mercenary to keep talking.

“And well, us? It was strange and new and Snake kind of took us under his weird, nonsensical wing”

“He’s right you know?” Pit glided down from the tree branch he had been perching on “he is one of the few I’ve seen interacting with R.O.B. for a start and despite calling him a menace, he and Sonic get along”

“Sort of” Ike muttered, remembering the hot dog incident again.

“For some of us it was easy to adapt and make friends” Pit grinned at Roy, who showed a thumbs up sign “but for others I guess it wasn’t, is that what you’re trying to say?”

Ike nodded, suddenly feeling all eyes on him.

Because it was true, Snake had looked out for Ike since the very beginning, even if sometimes it ended in him making a fool of himself, the outcomes weren’t evil intended and in the end, no one got hurt in the process.

“Wow I well, didn’t think it that way” Link looked at his friends “we owe you guys an apology for that”

“What? No, it’s eh…” Ike felt his face heating in embarrassment, when he heard someone calling from the roof.

“Speaking of the devil” Roy laughed “oh man I want to see what is he up to this time”

Ike looked at Pit, the angel just grinning and making his way towards the rooftop. He looked at the swordsmen one more time and smiled at them.

“I better go see what is going to happen”

“Sure thing” Link smiled “oh and you can hang out with us, if you want, I promise Marth is not as prissy as he sounds like”

“I beg your pardon” Marth rolled his eyes but he also was showing a hint of a smile.

“Thanks guys” Ike beamed and made his way towards the rooftop as fast as he could.

~

Pit was filling up balloons by the time he had finally reached the roof, already with three big buckets by his side.

“Uh, what is going on?” he asked, when Snake showed up right next to him, almost making him jump.

“I’m thinking it should rain” Snake said, pointing at the hoses and balloons “the day is too hot after all” he looked at the mercenary and ruffled his hair “what do you say kiddo?”

Ike couldn’t help but to grin, holding one of the hoses on his shoulder.

“I say it’s a good idea”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hope you liked it.  
> If you want me to write any ship or prompt you can leave a suggestion in my tumblr 
> 
> http://bittencupcake.tumblr.com


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